Asking for Help

When it comes to asking for help, I am not the one to do it first. In fact, I do not ask for it unless I am on the verge of disaster. Basically when “all else fails” is when I will ask for help. Although, I am not the one to ask for help, I love it when people ask me for help.

The other day my friend Nicole came to me with her rhetorical analysis. She knew what she was doing, but she did not exactly know how to make it a B+ or an A paper. I love the feeling of being needed, not to mention I do really like teaching, but I was a little worried about helping her. This is because I had never done a rhetorical analysis and I had not gotten a grade on a paper in any class yet this semester. Still, Nicole did not mind, all she wanted was a little input and help proofreading.

I told Nicole I would get it read before Wednesday night, and I did. As I was reading I looked for grammatical errors, redundancies, and the word “you.” She did not do bad at all. The only thing that was not the best was the constant repetition of the main point. However, we went over this aspect, broke up some paragraphs, and we were good to go. I am looking forward to seeing how she does. Nicole and I also made somewhat of a deal. She helps me with math, and I help her with English. Too bad I am done with math for the rest of my college career and she is done with English after this semester. Oh well, it is the thought that counts.

I really do not know why I love feeling needed. Some people hate to be the “go to” person, but it fuels me. It makes me love being the person with all the answers especially when my advice benefits people. However, there is a down side to being this person. Sometime, I do not have the answer, and I hate that. Of course I give the best answer I have, but the fact that I did not know makes me feel that I do not have a handle on anything. Being in control is not my job, but I want it to be even though I do not have the capacity to handle my friend’s problems and mine. Then I think about my problems. I love it when people come to me for help, because then I do not have to worry about my problems. When I am trying to help others and solve their problems I can avoid myself. I know that sounds crazy, but I it is true. This is something that I really need to work on. I think I am very capable of helping others, and asking them for help. Maybe it is time for a little change. Actually, it is time to ask for help.

Hakuna Matata

I finally got to ride my horse today for the first time since the first week of class. It was such an awesome ride. I am so happy because my head is cleared and I have fulfilled the expression “take a chill pill.” Riding my horse is what clears my head and allows me to leave reality for a little while.

Imagine that everything is going wrong. Every friendship, relationship, or acquaintance is falling apart with every step. Every class is getting tougher, every eye is staring, and every comment is directed toward YOU. However, there is a way to get away from that, relieve that feeling, a personal “hakuna matata” feeling of relief. For me that is riding horses.

When I get on a horse, I get focused on what I am doing. I am only thinking about the fact that I am riding my horse, what I am going to execute during this ride, and how in place I feel. Of all the places there are in this universe I am the most confident and comfortable when I am sitting on my horse in my saddle. It is a feeling of such comfort. There is never a time when I am more euphoric. The quote from Titanic, “I’m king of the world!” is truly fulfilled. From the time I get in the saddle to the time I put Dancer back out in the pasture, I am completely and utterly me. When I am asked who I really am, I wonder how to answer, and it shocks me that I wonder. The true answer is, I am me when I am riding a horse. It is when I am happiest, it is what I associate myself with the most, it is something that I am constantly thanking God for. Horses are my gift, my passion, the one thing that I couldn’t possibly live without. Some people would bring their music with them if they had to be stranded on a desert island, but not me. It is hard to top the company of your horse. My horse knows how I am feeling, and can sense my emotions. Who would be better company? It is crazy to believe that a horse can actually cheer you up. Winston Churchill once said, “The outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man.” I couldn’t agree more. There is something about a giant, smelly animal that makes me so peaceful. Something about having hay in my pockets, mud on my shoes, and a car that reeks of farm that rocks my socks. I don’t think there is anything else that could ever make me feel happy, comfortable, peaceful, relaxed, relieved, and in the right place all at the same time. For that, I will be forever thankful for this passion. It is simply irreplaceable.

F.I.N.E.

I began this week expecting it to be very busy and quite full. In my planner I had written down several things that are due this week, specifically all the things I thought I had due for Computer Science. I had expected a case study, two homework assignments, 30 pages of reading, a quiz, and the midterm to be done in the time period of Thursday to Sunday. However, as I was beginning my Case Study with my partner, I discovered that there is no Computer Science homework this week. No quiz, no reading, no homework projects, instead, I just have to complete the case study and study and take the midterm. What a relief! I even passed my biology exam with decent colors after completely failing my first attempt.

Last week was a terrible week. It was filled with exams and exhaustion, and frustration with everything. I was expecting that this week would be the same, but with one less test. To my surprise this week is changing views. It is clearing out beautifully. I have only been in college one and half semesters, but I always seem to assume that some weeks will be good and some will be bad. Then I wonder, why do I decide a week is going to be bad or good before it even begins? It never concludes with the results that I had anticipated in the first place. I am dropping a class this week too. For the first time in my life, I have discovered my boundaries and know how far I can push them. I decided breaking boundaries, is defeating the point of boundaries anyway. Why would a person set boundaries if they were going to bust through them? Does not make much sense, does it.

This week that was expected to be bad, is going to be just fine. Yes, fine does mean freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional, but this is college, in Iowa for that matter, can better than ‘fine’, really happen? Probably, but I only work for what is in rational terms. Still, I am shooting to experiment with this word called optimism. I already have some, but now I want to strive for severe optimism, which turns into sarcasm, and eventually into entertainment. Life is so short, it should be a wildly entertaining amusement park. So, with that said, I am going to look for the best in this week and enjoy all the rides. Let’s start with the bumper cars.

Most Embarrassing Moment: Can you figure it out?

Smelly

Dirty

Gross

Horses

Hairy

Muddy

Brown

Green

Farm

Trucks

Trailers

People

Saddles

Wheel barrows

Pitch forks

Old guys

Four wheelers

Grass

Stains

Manure pitch

Mom

Dad

Sister

Ponies

Carriages

“Who’s Watching”

“What just happened”

People walking

Jogging

Dumping Muck Buckets

Neighing horses

Breathing

Trees

Wind

Summer

Babbling brook

Heavy objects

Packing supplies

Grain

Hay

Wet

Damp

Gatorade

Leather

Sweat saddle pads

Mushy sandwiches

Head Ache

Butt sore

Tired Muscles

Dirty face

Laughing sister

White Ford F-350, dulley, crew cab

White 3 horse slant load Sundowner trailer

The UPway barn

Cross country

Water jugs

Horse show officials

No where to go

Lying in the mud

Cement surroundings

Dirt path

Gravel roads

“Wow that hurt”

“Gross this is wet”

“I am literally covered in crap”

“If you are going to help me step away now”

Cars driving down the highway

People dressed in show attire

Horses kicking stall doors

Dust

Heat

Humid

Sweaty feet

Drenched jeans

Sunburned skin

Sunburned face

“Love it anyway”

Tractors

Everyone too busy to notice

Sore ankle

Mouth tastes grassy

Headache from dehydration

Moving tack trunks

Wood shavings

My sweaty gray pony

Of all the things in the world this is not embarrassing, nasty, stinky, horrifying, instead it is passion, love, competition, and unforgettable memories that will be forever told, and passed on to up and coming equine enthusiasts. It is all part of the sport, no pain, no gain. After all the smell soreness, there is only the horses.

25 Things

There is the special note thing called “25 Things” that was going around Facebook last week like rapid fire. The idea was, that if you were so called “tagged” in someone’s note of 25 random facts, then you yourself had to present 25 things about yourself. Not too difficult, I guess it can be a sort of fun way to get to know people. After I had been tagged about six times in said notes, I finally decided to write down my personal 25 things.

Here they are:
1. Horses are not a hobby, they are a passion
2. That Jesus guy, yeah he is kind of important to me
3. I am from Phillipston, Massachusetts, which is 70 or so miles west of Boston
4. I grew an inch senior year
5. I moved to Iowa summer of 2007, because my dad got a job
6. I burst out laughing at things that happened today, yesterday, last week, last month, last year, you get the idea
7. I randomly burst into song
8. I want to ride cuffed in the back of a cop car before I die (not necessarily arrested though, I just want the experience and the famous line “watch your head” from COPS said to me)
9. Combines are the coolest looking machines I have ever seen, and I am dying for a ride in one
10. I used to have an imaginary friend named ‘Little One’ who I wrote a story about in the first grade
11. I hate pulled pork sandwiches and orange juice
12. I took a pledge to never get drunk
13. My favorite song of all time is ‘Game of Love’ by Michelle Branch and Santana
14. I have the most caring best friend on the planet, irreplaceable!
15. I call many of my friends ‘homeskillet,’ ‘homefry’ ‘lovey’ and ‘monkey butt’ (not all the time) and end every conversation by saying ‘peace’
16. I have a black, cow hocked, cross-eyed cat named ‘Ragamuffin’
17. I have won 17 national championships riding horses
18. I was born at Overlook Hospital in Summit, New Jersey, the same hospital as actress Meryl Streep
19. I make mean cookies
20. The most spontaneous thing I have ever done is get my ears pierced a second time (I know, LAME)
21. Yes, I was raised in a barn, is that a problem?
22. My car is a beast and the only miracle on wheels
23. I lived in Massachusetts for 11 years but have never even been to Fenway Park
24. I never do repeats on impersonations, voices, crazy facial expressions, etc. So don’t ask, because I have no idea what I did anyway
25. I drove 93mph on route 380 by a cop and didn't get pulled over. Hey I had to make it back in time for evening church.

Well, those are some things about me. No specific order except one and two maybe. They are interchangeable though. Peace!!

Week 5 Assigned Post

In Madeleine Sorapure’s “Screening Moments, Scrolling Lives: Diary Writing on the Web” she makes one point that really caught my attention. Sorapure states, “An online diary exists on the hard drive of a server, not in handwriting on a page with a particular shape and feel (4).” From my perspective this makes a lot of sense because when someone posts on a blog or webpage they are typing the entry instead of writing it. Therefore, the audience cannot observe or get feeling from the writer’s handwriting. However, I disagree that writing on the web is less personal that writing in a diary, journal, email, etc. This is because with computers and other various forms of technology today, web entries can be personalized. There are hundreds or even thousands of different font styles and colors that can be used. Pictures can be posted along with audio and videos as well.

In the blog “postsecret,” there are many examples of personality. Currently there are several pictures that pertain to Valentine’s Day. By looking at these pictures, and what these pictures are saying, the audience can get a little insight into how the author of Postsecret views Valentine’s Day. If the author of Postsecret were to do the same thing in a diary it would be messy and filled with glue. By using the Internet he or she has made a personal Valentine’s Day message.

Sorapure also uses an example in her article about how writing on the web does not show the age of an article of writing. Meaning that when a person writes in a diary the pages age, eventually yellow, and get an old a special look and feeling to them. However, when a page turns brown and falls apart, the content of the page is lost. If it was written on the Internet, the page will always be able to be read and enjoyed. Postsecret’s entry with all the different pictures displaying the subject of Valentine’s Day will not fall apart. It will be available year after year, and can be seen by millions of people.

There are several good and meaningful points in Sorapure’s article, but they do not prove that writing in a diary is better than writing on the web. Instead, the reader can gain a little more knowledge into the subject. Sorapure does seem to vote for not writing on the web, but at the same time this article available on the web. In the end, I think it is all about the writer’s preference and not what the audience wants.

Interviews

Today was the wonderful day of Destination Iowa State Team Leader interviews. I really want to be a team leader, and was excited for the interview. However, I did not think that it would take two and a half hours. I figured it would be a sign up, receive a time, and then go to your interview when assigned. Instead, we were all split up into three very large groups, and taken into three different rooms. This is fine, being in a group is not a problem, in fact, I would rather be in a group because I don’t feel so alone.

We all began with introductions. This is easy, because everyone knows their name, where they are from, and what their major is. Then the interview process moved into a series of what was explained as three activities, but really ended up being five. It was fun, I think it went really well, but it took my whole evening. Why did they plan such a long interview process? By the end, everyone was a little out of it. Being in the a room playing dumb games for two and a half hours, just was not necessary. I guess they just wanted to see how everyone interacted with each other. Being a team leader, would really entail interacting well with people, so I understand the group activities. What I don’t understand is why we had to spend two and a half hours playing games with the group. This just doesn’t seem like it was the best strategy. Anyway, I do think the job would be a lot of fun, and I hope it is a position I achieve. I am very thankful the interview is good and over.

Joe and Limmerick

My knee has been healing as best as can possibly expected. Recall that, Hank, the devil pony, kicked me last week. It is great to say that I haven’t been kicked again. Hank, has been behaving himself, however, the same cannot be said about Joe. Joe is as cute as can be, but really is not the sharpest tool in the shed. He has a tendency to ruin all the other ponies’ routines. When it is time to come into the barn, he stops in the doorway, runs into a stall, changes his mind, and the finally after walking around the barn annoyingly for five minutes settles into the last open stall. I remember when my boss informed that he got a little “confused” when it came to feeding time. Usually horses are monkey see, monkey do kind of animals. Therefore, one would think, Joe would follow the other horses lead. Unfortunately he doesn’t. I would say he is really stupid, but I think that he actually thinks it is hilarious. Every weekend he waits for me to come, so I can stare at him and tell him to “pay attention.” The look in his eye tells me that he really does think it is funny. It seems he really just enjoys making me angry, well annoyed rather. It is also quite possible he enjoys getting laughed at. He could just be a, “I love being the center of attention” pony. There are plenty of those kind of ponies in the world. He is special, and he is Earl’s pony, so he will be around forever.

Other than Joe’s crazy antics, Limmerick managed to hurt himself and is stuck on “stall rest.” I do not know what he did, but I have had to give him one gram of bute (strong equine pain medication) twice a day. He is such a cheery big guy, but if he were a person he would probably get teased for having a high-pitched voice. As monstrous as he is, the boy neighs like a little girl. Every time he lets out a little nicker, I must giggle because I think it is Sweet Pea, who is about two feet tall. Funny, but not totally bizarre because similar to people, not all horses have the same voice. Their little differences is what gives them personality and flair. They don’t all look the same, smell the same, act the same, etc. I love their differences. Sometimes I wish that could be applied to the world. People love how all horses are different, but it is hard to see them act the same way toward different people. Maybe sometime, I can spread this little example.

Naps

I have been a little distracted this past week, mainly because I am just a little worn out. Therefore, I have been taking it a little easy, “just chillin’” so to speak. As a result, I have been a little lazy with the whole, “you’re in college, you have homework to do!” policy. All I can say is that, sometimes a person just needs to take a nap. I remember back in the day, when I would fight off my mom and babysitters when they told me it was naptime. Now, I wish that I could have that hour a day to just take a nap. Where did all that go? I find it funny that there are things I used to despise, and refused to do, and now I wish I had them back. This statement proves my mom’s reversed psychology when she said, “you will wish you could take naps someday.” As much as I hate to say it, she was totally right. Oh my goodness, she actually knew what she was talking about. It is funny that I am now thinking about, the other things she said that she is probably right about. However, she may not know it, but I remember almost everything she has ever told me. It is true to say, I have not always shown that I was listening, but have retained a majority of her words. So, those infomercials about talking to your kids about sex and drugs because they will listen, is definitely true. Kids may not use it, but they definitely listen to it. That one day will come, when they will actually admit, that their mom or dad actually did know what he or she was talking about. College really is a time of finding yourself, and learning things that should have learned several years ago. I totally disagree with those human scientists who claim that development stops in the early teenage years. I am 19 and I am still growing as a person.

If your sister kicked you, would you stop loving her?

I had a rather bizarre weekend, which threw off my blogging pattern. Therefore, I am going to tell my Saturday horse story today.

The weather this weekend was just to die for and perfect riding weather. Unfortunately I did not get a chance to hop on my horse Dancer and go for a ride. This can be expected because I am in college now, but I wish I could understand that college will take away some of my farm time. I have yet to accept that even though I know that college is the reason.

Anyway, I was going about my regular business up at the farm, with the company of Bunmi and Jessica. I love bringing the friends, especially Bunmi because she lights up like a Christmas tree every time she comes. She has also mentioned several times that horses would be a fabulous form of therapy. I love this because it makes me more motivated to create my own personal equine therapy program in the future. The best part was, that the cameras were brought out. We got lots and lots of great pictures. Not to mention, horses love cameras. Sometimes they get a little nervous about the flash, but that does not stop them from trying to completely surround the person who is holding the camera. The afternoon with the horses ended beautifully, and nothing to dramatic happened until Sunday morning.

I was feeding the midgets (the ponies at the farm), and was walking up to Sydney to put his feedbag on. As I am snapping the plastic snap closed, Hank comes out of nowhere. In an attempt to kick Sydney in the chest he hits my knee instead. Just for a little bit of extra information, it really painful to get kicked by an animal that is weighs about 700 pounds and can pull three times its weight. I lifted up my hand and smacked Hank so hard on his hindquarters that he ran away all the way across the paddock. Now, I have a hoof shaped bruise on my knee. As always when I tell people what happened, they always come with the question “Why do you still work with horses!?” I have had my fair share of bumps and bruises, but I answer that question with “You wouldn’t stop loving your sister or brother if he or she kicked you.” At least, I wouldn’t. I consider horses to be a God given talent, and if I have been given such a gift, then I am going to use and love it. Embrace the gifts that have been given. If a person is good at something and loves it too, why give it up, just because it hurts a little? Or a lot, but I think I have made my point. In the end, I am thankful that it was little hank that kicked me and not Big Mama, because if Big Mama kicked me, I would not have a knee anymore. The little things there are to be thankful for, I reap.
[Big Mama (Kelsey) and I are pictured above]

Invincibility is Nonexistent

There are always those things that happen in the world that a person thinks, “that will never happen to me.” I have said it, I have heard friends say it, I have even heard a teacher or two say it too. It is a common belief among all of us. People may say that they don’t believe that nothing can happen to them, but the truth is, they really do deep down inside believe they are invincible. The worst part is the disbelief that comes when something bad actually happens. When something that is life altering occurs to a friend, a family member, or even yourself.

Way back when I was in first grade, I lived next door to the Kimber family. They had two kids who were always over at my house playing with my brother, sister, and I. Casey and Kim are in many of my memories and in a whole photo album worth of pictures. On January 31, 2009, Kim was found dead in the basement of someone’s house. The autopsy revealed that he died of alcohol poisoning. He was only 20 years old.

Even though it has been several years since I have seen Kimmy Kimber, I am greatly affected by his passing. When I heard of his death, I immediately thought, where were his friends? Why would they leave him alone? How would I feel if my best friend died of alcohol poisoning? I have let these questions pass through my mind again and again. Why would he drink so much that it made him sick? Why would anyone drink excessively? Then the biggest question of all hit home. How could this happen to someone I know? For the first time in my life I actually know that my friends and I are not invincible. Something bad can happen to any of us at any given time. Never again, will I ever feel invincible, because I am not. God could take my friends or I at any time. It is up to Him, not me.

After I heard of the cause of Kimmy’s death, I can’t help but think of all the people I know who go out to party every weekend. I can only pray that they are safe and they leave with the friends they went with. I took a pledge yesterday, one that I will hold myself too, no matter the temptation it causes or how hard it gets. I will never get so drunk that I cannot make sure my friends are safe and make it home okay. I will never leave a friend alone when they need me, or leave them behind at all for that matter. These promises I have made to myself because I do not want what happened to Kimmy, to happen to the people I love or anyone. If I went out and to a party with a friend, and they were found dead the next morning, I would believe it was my fault, because I was not the better friend. This would be extremely difficult to bear. Even though the passing of Kimmy is extremely sad, it has taught me such a powerful lesson. This lesson I will pass on, and never forget. A lesson that can and will save lives, I hope that I can witness it at work.

Operation Smoothie on the Belt Line

I went to dinner with my friend Bunmi today. Normally, I go to dinner Jess and Bunmi, unfortunately on Wednesday nights Jess has to work. This is a stinker for Jess because Wednesday nights at Oak Elm are smoothie nights. Jess always misses the smoothies because she is in the back of the dining center slaving over a hot dishwasher. She is always feeling a little down on Wednesday nights because of missing the smoothies, except tonight.

Today was a rough day for Jess, and I decided I wanted to do something nice. Therefore, I developed a plan. This plan would result in getting a smoothie to Jess. I named this plan, Operation Smoothie on the Belt Line. Basically, I would eat dinner with Bunmi, and then wait in the smoothie line. The smoothie line is always long, but I was determined. I waited, and while I was waiting I thought about what flavor Jess would want. Would she want the citrus one or strawberry banana? Then I decided that no one would want a citrus smoothie that is just a little messed up. I grabbed the strawberry banana smoothie and went back to my table. Bunmi also grabbed a smoothie. Operation Smoothie on the Belt Line was in pursuit.

Bunmi and I finished our orange soda. Bunmi suggested that I tell Jess that the smoothie is coming. I walked over to the belt line and knocked on the wall to get Jess’s attention. After informing her “it was coming” I went back to my table. I placed the smoothie conveniently on my tray, and put the tray on the belt line. The tray moved slowly down the belt line and slide into the dish room. Jess grabbed the smoothie, and took a sip with a big smile on her face. Operation Smoothie on the Belt Line was complete, and Jess was all happy inside.

Contradicting Advertisements

Knowing me, I have a love for humor and laughing. In fact, ask anyone who knows me well and they can tell you that I am laughing more than I am not. I suppose that is a good thing, especially now, because I have the ability to control it. Anyway, I was taking a homework break and was browsing Google for some funny pictures. I came across this one.


Irony is one literary device that I find the most entertaining. There is nothing like a little unpredictable twist or turn at the end of a good book or even movie. I had a quick laugh at this picture, and then similar to the polar bear picture, I realized that this picture presents an increasing issue.

There is constant talk about the increasing numbers of obese people in our country. It seems to be something that society is opposing; yet promoting at the same time. Just look at the picture. The billboard picture on the top is advertising the issue of how obesity is a bad thing, but then the bottom is an advertisement for McDonald’s. To me, those are too very contradicting messages right there. Why is that? It really bothers me when advertisements are conveniently placed, specifically on television, so that an advertisement for weight loss follows with one for Burger King. How can society expect people to not be obese, if the advertisements elevating obesity are constantly shutting down the good media messages? That does not really help out Americans, instead that only hurts us more. How unfortunate. If there is such worry for the health of future generations, then I think that the media could be a lot more helpful. On the other hand, people could just watch less television and surf the Internet less and go outside and walk around. It is amazing how much more a person can see walking down their street, than they can sitting in their living room.

Even though this picture of irony is supposed to be comical, which it slightly is, I find it to be an eye opener. If the time is taken to just really look at it, it can be seen that this picture really interprets a mixed up society that we all are influenced by. I am so amazed at what the little things I find teach me. But, in the end, maybe the things that I find that are supposed to be funny, really are not supposed to be funny. Instead, they really are meant to teach lessons and expand knowledge. Just a thought.

Week 3 Assigned Post: Critical Review Practice

In the article The Empire of Images in Our World of Bodies by Susan Bordo, Bordo uses sarcasm in a manner that makes her ideas and points quite effective. The final sentences of several of Bordo’s paragraphs end with slight and sometimes subtle comments that correspond with the message that she is trying to portray. Her method of doing this, really catches the reader’s attention and gives a kick to her personal ideas about physical appearance.

Lars Eigher in his article On Dumpster Diving does a good job staying positive about a rather unpalatable subject. In each of his points he is honest and truthful, but has a tone that implies a “could be worse motto.” This allows the reader to engage in active reading, and be forthcoming about the message of the article. Without his positive tone, myself as a reader would have dismissed the article. However, because of Eigher’s thoughtful execution of discussing dumpster diving, his article was a thorough and positive read.

Richard Rodriguez keeps things personal is his essay Public and Private Language. Even though Rodgriuez shoots down the idea of being bilingual he does an excellent job of using himself as a primary example. His use of description and family stories is intriguing. This allows me to believe that he as an author really takes great care in his writing even though I may not agree with everything he is saying. In conclusion, his personal approach is very effectual.